I am excited to talk with you today about something that has been percolating in my mind for some time. I was largely an English teacher here in my teaching days, but in fact, I was a religion major in college.

That came about not because I was particularly religious, but because I became inspired by a professor at Hamilton College named Jay G. Williams, who taught a class at the time called Time, Space, and Power. I took the class at the last minute in the second semester of my first year because I needed something to fill out my schedule. From that one class has grown a lifelong interest in how people find meaning in their lives.

Organized religion of all kinds is of interest to me for many reasons, but chief among them is this, best summarized by the American theologian Huston Smith: “Every human who has ever walked this planet has had wants in their life; at its best, religion helps us to understand what is worth wanting.” That is an important question to think on—what is really worth wanting in this life?

I should thank a few people at the outset who have helped me shape my thinking on this: Dr. Joe Dispenza (author of the book, “You are Your Own Placebo”), Chrissy Luchefski (that’s Mr. O’Mara’s wife), David Goggins (an ultramarathoner and former Navy SEAL), and neuroscientist Andrew Huberman.  

 Lessons From Home:
“Just Do It, It’s Good for You” 

My parents had five children, and I am the youngest of that group. While many of my siblings would argue that I had it the easiest with my parents because they were too tired to care that much by the time I came around, I would not agree. My parents never tired of caring for their brood, each of them in their own way. In our home, we kids did a lot of stuff we didn’t want to do—things like the dishes, mowing the lawn, taking out the trash, cleaning the basement or garage, vacuuming the house, washing the car, raking leaves, shoveling snow—on and on this list went. Whenever one of us might object, both of my parents would look at us and say, “Just do it, it’s good for you.” 

That phrase, “just do it, it’s good for you,” bothered me for a long time. First, I didn’t like it because I had no power to go against it, so I just had to take it. But perhaps more importantly, I reasoned that doing things like this couldn’t possibly be “good for me.” How would leaf raking or snow shoveling really help me? I could see how it helped my parents, but I had a great deal of trouble seeing how it helped me. But I did all those things, and I am sure glad I did.

Well, it turns out my parents were on to something, even though they didn’t know it at the time, doing things we don’t like or want to do is scientifically good for us, and the most recent findings in neuroscience prove it.

 The Science of Doing Hard Things 

There is a part of the brain called the Anterior Mid-Cingulate Cortex (AMCC). It is a part of the mid-brain structure that people are just beginning to study and get a full understanding of. One of its properties is neuroplasticity, which means it is not a set or fixed part of the brain—it can grow and develop or even shrink if not used or stimulated.  

OK, that’s fine, you might conclude, so what? What does the Anterior Mid-Cingulate Cortex do for us?

Scientists believe the AMCC is the seat of human willpower, and in some cases, the will to live. The AMCC tends to be larger in athletes, especially those who rise to the top in their sport of interest. The AMCC can be smaller in people who have a hard time delaying gratification. Scientists have also learned that the AMCC is connected to longevity—that is, how long people live. The bigger the AMCC, the longer our life tends to be.

So, exceptionalism and long life have been connected to this section of the brain. I have never met anyone who didn’t want to live a long time and be really good at something.  Never. Not once. So, it stands to reason we should all be paying attention to what stimulates this part of the brain. 

And here it is—here is what will help you become exceptional, what will help you to live longer. Are you ready? DOING THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE OR WANT TO DO.

I’m not joking. When you do things that are hard or unpleasant, you are supporting your own exceptionalism and enhancing your chance for a longer life. There is a reason why athletes like Tom Brady and Larry Bird (to use just two examples) rose to the top of their sports despite the fact that they were not the strongest, fastest, or most physically fit. It’s because they embraced doing hard things as the way to get better. They grew their AMCC daily by saying, ‘bring on the HARD.” It’s more than just a willingness to work hard. It’s a mentality that doing that which we are naturally inclined to say, ‘nope, not going to do that” or “boy, that doesn’t sound like much fun” is precisely the stuff that will help us the most.

 Putting Friction Into Practice 

There are two levels to what I am trying to say to you today. The first was to introduce you to the topic of the AMCC and how it works for your betterment. The second part of this is a lot harder. The putting into practice of that understanding. Doing this work is really, really hard. We are predisposed to look for comfort, to seek out life hacks to make things easier.

It turns out, there are no shortcuts. Drinking energy drinks really isn’t a positive, long-term solution for low energy. Taking supplements can’t be your long-term answer to a desire to be stronger, smarter, better; to be exceptional.

So, what does this look like for you:

Going up to a table of kids you don’t know well yet and sitting down helps YOU.

Doing your job in the job program helps YOU.

Raising your hand and offering an answer when you are not sure you are right helps YOU.

Being a job sub when it is the last thing you WANT to do helps YOU.

Picking up trash as you walk past it on the path helps YOU.

Volunteering for a service opportunity like Bridgehouse or Habitat helps YOU.

Getting up in the morning when you would rather sleep in helps YOU.

Going for a cold plunge helps YOU.

Whatever you find hard and uncomfortable will fit here.

 Dopamine, Discomfort, and the Brain’s Reward System 

Here’s one final neuroscience point worth mentioning. Everyone looks for ways to release dopamine in their brain. You all know about dopamine, right? It is what the brain releases at “feel-good” moments.

Dopamine matters for coordination, focus, motivation, drive, and even heart rate and blood circulation. Typically, we see pleasure as the only trigger of dopamine release. For example, if you love chocolate, a high-end piece of milk chocolate will result in a dopamine release.  

Here’s something new in the world of dopamine: Neuroscientists are now discovering that dopamine can also be triggered by moments of pain and discomfort.

 Faith and the Value of Struggle 

I want to connect this back to religion and what is worth wanting—the place where I started. It is worth mentioning that each of the major world religions offers similar insights. Not one major religion says, “lead the chill life and all will be well.” 

• Christianity wants you to love those society says are worthless—even your enemy—not very comfortable. 
• Judaism has a series of strict rules and laws that are hard to follow. 613 Commandments in fact–hard. 
• Devout Muslims across the world practice a life of restriction, like extended periods of fasting, to offer one example. Anyone who follows even the minimum requirements of Islam will experience a level of self-denial. 
• So too with Hinduism and Buddhism—each of those religions shares a set of principles to live by that are very hard to do, and require a level of discomfort.

 Embrace the Discomfort 

Human beings are, by their nature, looking for comfort and easy living. Humans seek comfort because it is a fundamental instinct tied to survival, safety, and well-being, fulfilling a need for security, reduced stress, and a sense of contentment. This innate drive leads us to avoid pain and discomfort, favoring familiar routines and secure environments to promote psychological and physical peace. The brain's reward system is activated by comfort-inducing situations, often releasing oxytocin or dopamine to foster feelings of connection and pleasure.  

If you asked someone their vision of a perfect day or perfect life, there would be a large number of people who would say something like: “a beautiful day at the beach where I can lie out in the sun and just relax.” Most people would offer a beach or lake home as their “perfect” retirement location. We eat for comfort often, and we build our lives around avoiding discomfort and difficulty. Calm, smooth, and comfortable seem to be the equation for a happy life for many.  

What we are now learning about how human brains work calls this view into serious question. Get used to discomfort. Maybe some of you are feeling uncomfortable here at school. Not sure you will make it work.

New research suggests you should actively seek discomfort. Don’t be turned off or away by discomfort. Do that which you don’t want to do, and you might open yourself up to your own greatness and the real riches of the world.

About the Author

Bruce Barton P '13 '16
Alumni Relations and Advancement

Since joining the faculty at Holderness School in 1988, Bruce Barton has been in many different roles: teacher, dorm parent, coach, Director of College Counseling, Admissions Officer, Assistant to the Chaplain, Director of Counseling, Director of Diversity and currently in the Alumni Relations and Advancement Offices.

Prior to Holderness, Mr. Barton worked at St. James School in Maryland. He holds an M.Ed. from the Harvard Graduate School of Education and an A.B. from Hamilton College. He has also completed coursework at Wesleyan University and Oxford University.