The night before the start of Out Back, our 11-day winter camping adventure in the White Mountains for 11th graders, groups gather for the annual Out Back Sign-In Ceremony.  During this sacred moment, students and adult leaders reflect on the journey ahead of them and sign the Out Back pledge, which commits them to live in good fellowship while participating in the program.

Late last summer, the Holderness family – the Out Back family, a family you all now belong to – lost Kerry O’Connell in a tragic motorcycle accident.  Kerry was a big, burly Harley-riding guy. He looked tough, almost scary. But if you knew him, you knew that he was gentle and kind. He was, as they say, a big teddy bear. As I started to write this, I thought about how best to honor Kerry. The more I thought about this, the more I realized that it just didn’t feel right. If Kerry were here today, he would be disappointed in me, maybe even a little angry with me. He would pull me aside and quietly remind me that this talk should focus on you, the students heading out into the woods for 11 days. He would remind me that this talk should help you prepare for your Out Back adventure. So, I switched gears and looked back at previous sign-in ceremony talks. Many of these focused on the Out Back motto “Enjoy When You Can, Endure When You Must.”   

In these talks, I challenged students to enjoy or find joy in both the big things and the small things. I asked them to find joy in the beauty of their surroundings.

• To find joy in the laughter around the campfire.
• To find joy in boot skiing down the side of a mountain.
• To find joy in getting into a warm sleeping bag on a cold night.
• To find joy in eating a peanut butter, honey, cheese, and pepperoni bagel sandwich.

I also asked students to find joy in some of the more challenging aspects of OB.

• To find joy in the effort of a hard hike.
• To find joy in setting up a bomb-proof shelter after a long day.
• To find joy in being alone for 3 days on Solo.

But, as I read this, I thought of Kerry. Kerry loved Out Back. He found joy in every aspect of Out Back. He found joy in all the fun moments- the time spent with friends around the campfire. He also found joy in the challenges of Out Back. Trying to dry out 30 sleeping bags over the fire after more than two inches of rain fell on the first full day of solo. Mr. Ford said during Monday’s Out Back outdoor chapel to enjoy while you are enduring. Kerry lived this. Nothing seemed to get him down.

In another sign-in ceremony talk the focus was on the first part of the OB pledge. “I pledge to live in good fellowship while on Out Back” What does good fellowship even mean? Fellowship is not a word that we regularly use. As I thought about this my mind once again drifted back to Kerry. The more I thought about Kerry, the more I thought that this is where he can help me. Like countless times before, Kerry is going to help me; he is going to help me explain to you what good fellowship means.

For over 10 years, Kerry had been part of the Out Back base camp staff. More specifically, Kerry was the base camp cook. He prepared delicious food for all of the adults during the solo period of Out Back.  But Kerry did not cook for the group as a whole – he cooked for each person - each individual at basecamp. He cooked for Sheppe, he cooked for LeighAnn, he cooked for Harbo, and he cooked for Elizabeth. Kerry took the time to get to know each of the adults’ daily schedules. Some leaders are up early and want to start the day with a hot cup of coffee, while others like to sleep in and head down to base camp after checking their flags. For the early birds, he had a pot of coffee on the stove and was ready to share in conversation around the campfire. And for those that slept in he had an omelet, or pancakes at the ready when they arrived. Kerry made us all feel special.

Is this good fellowship? I think it is. Now I ask you: can you take the time to get to know someone in your group that you do not know well? Can you listen to them? Can you share with them? Can you make them feel special?

A few years ago a girl on OB came down to the area outside of basecamp on the morning that solo ended. She looked a little scared and tired.  It was awesome that she had made it this far. For over a year, she had struggled with disordered eating. She said that she was hungry – she had not eaten much over solo and was afraid that she was not going to have the energy to do the hike that day. I asked her if I could get her some food and then yelled into camp to ask Kerry if he could cook up an omelet. Now you need to understand, everyone was back with their groups and we had already started breaking down basecamp. All the food had been boxed up and the stoves had been put away. But Kerry responded quickly  – Yes. Kerry made a sausage, cheese, hashbrown, and broccoli omelet. The girl ate the omelet, killed it on the hike that day, and had a successful second half of OB. Here’s the thing – Kerry never met the girl. I went in and got the omelet for her. She never got to thank him. Her parents never had an opportunity to meet and thank him. In fact, most of the leaders in the room have never heard this story, never had the chance to pat Kerry on the back and say thank you, thank you for helping one of our kids make it. Kerry did not go out of his way for this girl for the praise. He did it because it was the right thing to do, the kind thing to do.

Is this good fellowship? Of course, it is. Can you do what is right, what is kind, even when no one is looking?  

On one particularly bad snow year, the snowmobile trails were in pretty rough shape. There were bare spots in many places. We spent around 8 hours between Wednesday and Thursday running 4 snowmobiles to get everything out to basecamp for the solo period. The tarps that you will use to make a shelter, the trash can lids you will build fires on, all of these are brought out by snowmobile. If the trails are bad, it is not as safe and it just takes so much longer. We left late Wednesday afternoon and headed back to campus to load up all the food and head out early on Thursday morning. Kerry and two others stayed out at basecamp that night. When we returned the trails were in much better shape. All the bare spots were gone. Kerry and the others had spent a couple of hours that evening going to each bare spot and shoveling snow to cover it up. It was a lot of work. It was hard work. They were not asked to do this. They just saw a job that needed to get done and they did it.

Is this good fellowship? You bet it is. After the first day of Out Back, you will all know the jobs that need to get done – set up the shelters, dig the fire pit, collect firewood, and get water at the stream. Will you need to be asked to do a job or will you just get it done? Will you get up when everyone is happily sitting by the fire to collect more wood if the pile is getting low?

What does to live in good fellowship mean? I think that is easy. Living in good fellowship is living like Kerry. Can you live like Kerry?

To help you with this we had Out Back stickers made.  It is our OB patch with Live Like Kerry written on the top. Your leaders will pass them out to you now. I want you to put them on your water bottles,  so every time that you take a drink you will be reminded to live in good fellowship – to Live Like Kerry.